Here I am at 18 weeks 4 days, and my sweet friend is 38 weeks.

 

18 weeks 4 days. Here is my sweet baby's profile! TEAM GREEN! 

Heartache and Happiness

I wrote a huge long blog post that got my little blog some traffic in March 2013. I felt like I had been defeated.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. When I married Spencer, we decided to go off birth control pretty soon. I thought month after month it would happen. Then I went to my ob/gyn, and another ob/gyn. They all told me I was normal and Clomid would work. I'll be pregnant in 6 months. 1 year later I was not pregnant. That is when I decided to take a visit to the fertility clinic. I am glad I trusted my instincts. I met with my favorite Dr. B. He took one look at my ovaries. He said you have all the signs and symptoms of polycystic ovarian syndrome. Except he said my case was more polycystic ovaries rather than the full blow out syndrome. I decided to go in for surgery to make sure I did not have Endometrosis too. We had a positive surgery. I had very small polyps around my fallopian tubes. He removed them. He put me on a medicine called Metformin. Yes, Metformin is a diabetic medicine. Metformin makes me feel great. I have some insulin issues and Metformin helps my insulin, which helps my hormones, which helps me feel much better. I started on metformin and took Clomid again in December.

We then had a positive pregnancy test in January. I couldn't believe it was that easy. I went in to get my blood work. The nurse called and said yes, you are pregnant please come in 48 hours later. I was all smiles. I may have told too many people too! I got my blood work done. The nurse called me around lunch time. She said I was having a chemical pregnancy. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop crying. I still hurt thinking about that phone call. I went in for my blood work for weeks. My blood work was so off the charts. One day my HCG was up, one day it was down. Dr. B thought it could be an ectopic pregnancy. He gave me options. We chose our option. January 24, 2014...not sure I will ever forget my angel baby. It was a hurt I cannot begin to explain. We had tried so hard, for so long. Why us? Why did we have to have this happen?

All during this time, Spencer and I decided to go through training for adoption with the state. We decided together whatever way our life decided to swing, we were very happy. I loved our adoption specialist. I love children. I couldn't wait to be a mommy.

Mid February we decided to try again. We tried to exact same combo. In March, we got our positive pregnancy test. I was so hesitate to be happy. I knew what that happiness and heartache felt like. I knew this time we would keep everything very secretive. We went in for blood work. Again, my blood work and HCG levels didn't look exactly right on track. HCG is supposed to double every 48 hours. Mine was doubling a little over 3 days. I took another test, and then we got to see our ultrasound. We saw our sweet baby. I saw my sweet baby. No more HCG blood tests! Another ultrasound and this time, the fertility clinic said I was ready to spread my wings. No! I begged to stay. But, I knew this was a good sign.

Go forward to May. We received a phone call from our adoption specialist. I couldn't even talk to her. I couldn't tell her what kind of news we had going on in our lives. Spencer spoke with her. He told her we were pregnant. She said there was a 4 month old sweet baby that needed a family. But, she knew the timing was off for us right now. I still have a hard time with that baby. I know God had a family in mind for the baby, but it hurt.

We are now in July. We just had our 18 week ultrasound. We decided awhile back we were not interested in finding the gender. I couldn't stop crying. I love this baby more than anything. I just don't want to forget about my sweet angel baby, and the other sweet baby. My heart does ache. But, I can't seem to shake my happiness. I cannot wait to fulfill my favorite job...being a mommy!

(Hopefully I will blog more about what is going on in our lives. We are currently wanting to do some home projects. I'll post pictures later!)

Baby Ivey due December 8, 2014

infertility

I posted about infertility before. I had a huge long post that I left up for a few days. I have since deleted that post. Although, I did not leave the post up I have had many conversations and friendships with people who are experiencing the same thing. Those friendships during last few months have brought me to tears and helped me understand I am not alone. We still do not know why we are not holding a sweet baby. I do have faith though that one day we will. I don't want to into detail of where we are the process. I say a prayer for any family that has to go through this.. it is full of emotion, heartbreak, pain, sadness. But to have a friend who understands is extremely amazing. Until I write again...

Wedding Day

I haven't ever blogged about our special day. I had always dreamed of my wedding. I knew there would be lots of yellow, and I wanted my wedding outside. I dreamed of having my wedding at my parents. But, my parents have ZERO parking, and sometimes it floods.

We decided to have our wedding at the Clinton Library. We had originally planned our wedding for October. But, around February we decided we wanted to get married earlier. We called the Clinton Library and someone had cancelled their wedding for June 11, 2011. We immediately knew that was God's plan to get married earlier. I don't believe in the hype of long engagements.

The wedding itself was outside, and the reception inside at the Great Hall. I loved both locations. I would love it even more on my wedding day.

Events leading up to the wedding day seemed like so much stress. I remember the rehearsal, and thought it was extremely unorganized for my taste. But, for me it wasn't about that the organization or what flowers looked right. For me, marriage is way more important than the wedding. I believe some people get lost in that view. I remember trying on dresses, and my attendant told me half of these women will be divorced in a year. "They are more worried about the wedding than the actual marriage."

For me, I knew I had met my person when I met Spence. He was laid back, easy going, handsome, loving, caring, LOVES animals, LOVES God, has different mind set when it comes to politics, he was just my person. When we decided to get married, I knew I could get married surrounded by 2 people or 200 people. It did not matter to me to have the big wedding.

But as wedding planning goes, you realize you need this and that. Therefore, we did have a larger wedding. Things went wrong during my special day. But, for me they didn't. I kind of like the imperfections of my wedding. It is kind of funny how people in the wedding and family like to point out imperfections still to this day. Because those imperfections make it perfect for me. Because for me a wedding is just a wedding, it's the marriage that really matters to me. In our marriage I believe those imperfections are what makes our marriage special.

June 11, 2011 was a perfect day because I got to marry my special person, not because I had a 'perfect' wedding.
-Whit

February 25, 2011

I don't have exactly a lot to blog about. I would say my life is pretty content as we speak.

Spencer & I are going to Tamarindo, Costa Rica. I cannot explain my excitement. One thing we really have in common is our love for travel. He even will bare with me to save, cook and be thrifty before going on these vacations. ;) If you have never heard of Tamarindo, please google it! It's an awesome place for surfers, tourists, but it still has a little bit of its original deposition going on. I am hoping to surf again. I have tried a few times. (I got up on a very very small wave.) I just cannot wait!

On another note, I am going to be an aunt! When I married, I got a wonderful neice and nephew. Let me say noone can replace my two lovies. But, I have waited awhile for my sweet brother to settle down and have baby. They are having a sweet baby girl. She will be one spoiled little girl.

I think once you get married you are entitled for everyone to ask when "it's your turn". I will never understand this statement. I love children, and I babysit most weekends. But, I am more than excited to be an aunt right now not a mommy. ;)

I am still in the process of losing weight. I'm down 11-12 lbs, somewhere about there. 5 lbs more would be awesome; although, I am pleased with how my workouts are going. I did weight watchers for awhile. (Then back to Costa Rica) I wanted to save some money so I started using my fitness app. It's pretty awesome. You can program how many calories you want intake. I like to stick with 1200-1300 a day. I guess just keeping a food diary just helps with weight loss, health, and overall well being, for me.

January

Wow, I haven't wrote anything in awhile.

In the past 6 months...

Spencer and I have been married for 6 months. (He's a huge blessing!)
We adopted our dog, Lilly.
I have worked at North Metro for a year!
We finally have most of our house in order. ;) (Or for the time being)
One of my very best friends, Haley had a baby. (I love little Preston)
I have attended I believe 5 weddings! (It is a baby or a wedding for my weekends!)
I have gotten the chance to love and develop a relationship with my sweet cousin, Jackson.
I lost my cousin in a tragic car accident.
My dad turned 60!
Spencer is starting to take classes again.
I still really want a farm with a horse, more dogs, and a porch. ;)

I guess you could say I have learned a lot. ;)

Until next time...

Shawn McDonald - Rise

One of my sweet friends sent this to me today.